Secret Love
by BrookenLucas12
Summary: Brooke loves Lucas. Lucas loves Peyton. She has her secret love.
1. Chapter One

I love this song! So I thought, why not write a story on it? Just so everyone knows, this is **NOT** a short story. This would have been if during _'Life in the Glass House_', Peyton and Lucas had hooked up, and started dating. Brooke and him are just good friends. Review, please. Oh, and the song is 'Secret Love' by Jojo.

* * *

**Secret Love  
  
1- Secret Love**  
  
_Boy you're so hard to believe  
  
Boy you're so hard to believe_  
  
I watch silently as he places a small kiss on her lips, a boyish grin on his face. He loves her, and me? I'm just a good friend.  
  
_Just a friend  
  
That's all I've ever been to you  
  
Oh just a girl  
  
Who wants to be the center of your world  
  
But I ain't got much to offer  
  
But my heart and soul  
  
And I guess that's not enough  
  
For you to notice me  
  
I'm just a girl  
  
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you  
  
To you  
  
_My heart skips a beat as he lookes towards me, a smirk on his face, as they begin towards me. She's my best friend. I should be happy for her, but instead, I feel anger and jealousy. I want him to be mine.  
  
I_ try to smile when I see other girls with you  
  
Acting like everything is ok  
  
But ohh  
  
You don't know how it feels to be so in love  
  
With someone who doesn't even know  
  
My secret love  
_  
I love him. Why can't I just admit it? He is so perfect for me. I don't know why. Maybe because we're so different. Maybe because he makes me feel so great about myself. This is wrong. I shouldn't think of him like this. He's dating my best friend! They are now in front of me, and my heart breaks all over again as he gives her a small kiss on her forehead.  
  
_In my dreams  
  
I see us both together constantly  
  
Why can't you see  
  
This love that's here for you inside of me  
  
Ohhh  
  
What do I have to do  
  
For you to notice this  
  
You look at her with love  
  
With me it's just friendship  
  
I'm just your girl  
  
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you  
  
To you  
_  
I'd seen him in my dreams. Instead of loving Peyton, he loved me. I imagined being Brooke Scott. I had played every card to get him. I tried to be smart, to be a slut, everything I tried backfired. Because he loves her. And he always will. And I hate myself for loving him. I'm so stupid. How could I think he'd want me as something more then a friend?  
  
_I try to smile when I see other girls with you  
  
Acting like everything is ok  
  
But ohh  
  
you don't know how it feels to be so in love  
  
With someone who doesn't even know  
  
My secret love  
_  
She's all over him. Right in front of me. He smiles at me, as he hugs her, then takes a seat beside me. So does she. She has the nerve to ask me why I look so glum. Bitch. I shouldn't be thinking this. He's hers. Jesus, he needs to stop smiling at me.  
  
_What do you see in her  
  
You don't see in me (don't see in me)  
  
Boy you're so hard to believe  
  
Why do you show her love  
  
But there's none for me  
  
Boy you don't make sense to me  
  
Cause I don't have much to offer  
  
But my heart and soul  
  
And I guess that's not enough  
  
For you to notice me  
  
I'm just your girl  
  
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you  
  
To you  
_  
I want him to know I love him. I want him to know how much I care for him. My first huge secret from Peyton. He makes no sense! I'm am just as great as Peyton! I could be perfect for him. Why? Why can't he look at me like he looks at her? No, please don't love her. Break up with her, and you and I can start our own family. Please. I love you. Listen to me, I sound pathetic. Like one of those girls I promised myself I would never to be.  
  
_I try to smile when I see other girls with you  
  
Acting like everything is ok (everything ain't ok)  
  
But ohh  
  
you don't know how it feels to be so in love (so in love with you baby)  
  
With someone who doesn't even know  
  
My secret love  
  
_My eyes begin to water, and I lean forward, my head in my hands. Peyton rubs my back.  
  
"Brooke? What's wrong?"  
  
I look up, my makeup ruined. "I'm sorry." I sob as I stand up and walk away. What's wrong with me? I'm so damn stupid!  
  
_Boy you're so hard to believe_  
  
Lucas, I'll be everything she is and more. I love you, but as I watch you kiss her, I realize you will never feel the same.  
  
Oh, well.  
  
I guess you will always have to be my secret love. 


	2. Chapter Two

I hate myself for not updating. I had one chapter, and then went into complete writer's block. I am so sorry. Ah, well, if you don't forgive me, at least read the chapter.

* * *

**Secret Love**

**Chapter 2**

"Why must you go out with your boyfriend on the one day we are able to hang out without any busy schedules getting in the way?" I complained to Peyton, putting on my best 'Brooke Davis Pout Face'.

"Because," Peyton grinned, slipping a shiny black pump on her foot, "We have special plans."

"Wow! You're having sex for the hundredth and fifth time? What a celebration!" I said sarcastically rolling my eyes.

She fell on to my bed. "No, Brooke. Like, going to dinner, and actually having a conversation about things that mean stuff."

"Can he actually having a conversation without brooding halfway through?" I said, crossing my arms across my chest.

I was not going down without a fight.

"Brooke, what's with you and this jealousy thing?" Oh, shit. She couldn't catch me. I could totally lie. I thought Lucas was, er, too blonde? Did that sound convincing?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Her eyes grew wide. "I know what it is!"

My life was over. She was going to find out that I was in love with her boyfriend. I would lose my best friend over some guy, she would hate me forever, and he would think I was some weirdo who was obsessed with him. How great.

"You think he's taken your place!" She really had me going there. God damn, Peyton. I really thought she knew. Well, that took a shit load of my shoulders.

"You caught me," I mumbled nervously. I wasn't that great of an actor. "I just, I miss my best friend."

Peyton smirked and hugged me. "B. Davis, you will always be first."

Now, here's where I felt guilty. "Thank you, P. Sawyer."

The doorbell rang, and the moment was over.

Lucas was here.

"Come in, Luke!" Peyton yelled, sitting up.

As soon as he walked into the room, my heart skipped twelve beats. I counted.

He was as handsome as ever, and he was wearing a tux again. He kissed Peyton on the lips, who told him she'd be out in five minutes. He nodded and collapsed on the bed next to me. Our bodies were so close, yet so far away.

"Hey, Cheery." He grinned at me.

"What's happening, Broody?" I replied, smirking.

Old nicknames were fun.

"So, you all dressed up to go on some hot date?" He asked.

I frowned, looking down at my green sweatpants, white tank-top, and green sweatshirts. "Yep, the hottest of the hottest."

He laughed, "Hotter then me?"

No, you're the hottest guy I've ever met. "Obviously."

"Someone I know?"

"Nathan Scott. Total hottie." I grinned.

He made a pained expression. "Low blow, Davis."

"Ah, you'll get over it." I mumbled.

He laughed. "Okay. So, what are you really doing tonight?"

"Well, if it was my choice, I would be hanging out with my best friend, Peyton. Girl stuff, you know going to the mall, getting take-out, watching a bunch of chick flicks, only she has to go out with her stupid retarded boyfriend, so that won't be happening." I pouted.

He chucked. "Oh, come on, Brooke, I'm sure you'll have fun."

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

Peyton emerged from the bathroom, and damn, jealousy was filling my veins. They was Lucas looked at her. The way she looked at him. I felt the need to leave.

"Well, I better be going." I said, getting up to leave.

"Wait." Peyton enveloped me in a hug.

"Yeah, yeah." I hugged her back, and waved good-bye to Lucas.

* * *

It completely killed me.

I knew the drill. Whenever Peyton was out with Lucas, she either called me, or didn't call me. She called me, when they'd just gone out, and kissed in his car for a while, and when she didn't call me, it meant that they were having sex.

So here I am, at 2:30 in the morning, dying, because the man I was in love with, and my best friend, were out having sex.

Wonderful.

I am so doomed.

I'm not sure how long I can keep this love secret.


	3. Chapter Three

Haha, don't kill me okay? The Fifth story I've updated tonight which is definitely a record for me. I'm really sorry that I haven't updated any of my stories in a while, but I'm going to try really hard to update more. I'm trying to finish this batch of stories, so I can start an entire new batch, which will be fun. I'm planning on having like one hundred stories by the end of next year, hopefully. Maybe even sooner. Once again, hopefully. Please read all my other stories, and remember to review!

* * *

**Secret Love**

**Chapter 3**

We sat by the beach. When I say we, I mean Peyton and I. Since, I had recently hooked Haley and Nathan up, I was feeling pretty proud, and my karma was sky-rocketing.

That was until Peyton decided she was going to invite her boyfriend Lucas, aka my secret love over to hang with us.

"You know what? I was thinking I would just go, and leave you two to some alone time." I told her, hoping she would take the hint and let me.

"Don't be stupid, Brooke. He's just bored by himself, since Haley's spending all her time with Nathan."

I couldn't help it. That lit me up. "Thanks to me."

"Yes," Peyton laughed, "And he thought he could hang out with us. He'll probably just read a book while we tan."

"Hopefully."

"Brooke, you used to like Lucas."

Yeah, before he started dating you.

Think of excuses, Davis. Think fast. "I know, he's just totally cutting into our best friend time."

"Brooke, I'm sorry. You know what? Just let me call him.." Peyton trailed off, picking up her phone.

"No. Don't. Just have your boy toy come over while I tan my legs, okay?"

"I love you, Brookie." And I love your boyfriend.

"Oh , but don't you?"

Okay, I swear I'm so going to win the worst friend award. She's been glowing ever since she's started dating Luke, and now I'm wishing he was mine.

And dear Lord, when he showed up, I had a hard attack. That boy looks good shirtless.

"Hey, Peyt." He kissed her on the lips, and then nestled into the chair between us.

"Brooke." He nodded towards me, opening his book and starting to read.

I put on my headphones, popping in my Keane CD, and turning it to '_This Is The Last Time_'.

_This is the last time  
That I will say these words  
I remember the first time  
The first of many lies  
Sweep it into the corner  
Or hide it under the bed  
Say these things they go away  
But they never do  
Something I wasn't sure of  
But I was in the middle of  
Something I forget now  
But I've seen too little of_

_The last time  
You fall on me for anything you like  
Your one last line  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And years make everything alright  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And I no I don't mind_

_This is the last time  
That I will show my face  
One last tender lie  
And then I'm out of this place  
So tread it into the carpet  
Or hide it under the stairs  
Say that some things never die  
Well I tried and I tried_

_Something I wasn't sure of  
But I was in the middle of  
Something I forget now  
But I've seen too little of_

_The last time  
You fall on me for anything you like  
Your one last line  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And years make everything alright  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And I no I don't mind_

_The last time  
You fall on me for anything you like  
Your one last line  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And years make everything alright  
You fall on me for anything you like  
And I know I don't mind_

I guess I was singing softly, because when the song finally ended, I saw Lucas looking at me. I pulled the headphones down.

"Hello, Annoying." I smirked.

"I didn't know you could sing."

"I can't." Actually, I can, but it's not like I'll be sharing that with you, Lover Boy.

"Yes you can. I just heard you singing."

"No you didn't." I don't sing out loud.

"Yes I did."

"It was your imagination."

"You're really good, too."

"I am?"

"Yeah."

"Well, thanks."

I leaned back into my lounge chair.

Could he have feelings for me too?


	4. Chapter Four

Okay, another chapter. This story isn't liked by many, hehe. I've got eight reviews. Come on people, you can give me a few more then that. Hey, if you leave a long review, I'll answer it up here. Enjoy the chapter. 

**Brucasfanatic101**: I know what I'm going to do, but it'll be a surprise, hopefully for the better.

* * *

**  
**

**Secret Love**

**Chapter 3**

"God, sometimes he can just be such a jerk!" Peyton picked up a teddy bear and tossed it across my bedroom, anger flaring in her eyes.

"First," I picked up my teddy bear, "What'd Fabio ever do to you?"

"You named it Fabio." She laughed.

"My dad got him from Italy, and Fabio is an Italian name. But that's besides the point. What'd Luke do this time?"

Of course, for all couples, there could be a downside. And for me, this was a good thing, although I would never admit it to my friend who was heartbroken every time.

"It's just , I don't know." She shrugged, turning on the TV.

"It doesn't matter anyway. You'll be back together tomorrow." I sat beside her, and she rolled her eyes at me.

"We didn't break up, Brooke. We just had an argument."

"Whatever." Sorry, just wishful thinking, my mistake.

* * *

They were together the next day, kissing , and doing stuff that broody people do together.

I found myself in the library. I know, the library , right? It was the only place I didn't see them.

I sat down on a chair, leaning back and closing my eyes.

"Brooke?" I looked up towards the voice, and a small smile formed on my lips.

"Hello, Jake." He sat beside me.

Jake was cute , and he was a daddy, which everyone had recently found out.

"What's up?" He asked me, smiling.

"Life." I rolled my eyes, and he laughed.

"Things not too good on the flip side, eh?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "No. Not good at all."

"Care to share?" I liked this guy.

"Not really."

He shrugged. "That's cool."

"What's up with you?"

"Well, there's this really pretty girl sitting next to me, and I kind of want to ask her out , but I'm not sure what's she'll say."

Was he talking about me? "I'm pretty sure she'll say yes."

"What do you think she'll say to, tonight for dinner, eight a clock, Karen's?"

"Definitely."

* * *

Jake was funnier then I thought. We'd been sitting down talking for the past hour, and I'd laughed about twenty times.

"What time is it?" I asked him , looking around.

"Nine thirty."

I groaned. "I've got to get going. Dinner party at my house."

"Can I take you home?"

I nodded. "I was going to ask you, anyway."

As we pulled up to my driveway, I grabbed my purse, reaching for the door. But deciding to go with my instinct , I turned back to him.

He leaned in , and so did I , and pretty soon, our lips were grazing. This turned into a heavy make out session, that ended when I giggled, saying that I was due in my house just minutes before.

He let me go , and I walked off , feeling good.

But as I closed the door, that feeling washed away.

Because the entire time I'd been kissing Jake, I'd been thinking of Lucas.


	5. Chapter Five

Hey, I'm finally updating again! Wow, it's been forever, okay, I'll shut up now so you can enjoy the chapter. Please leave reviews! 

**Sam**: Thanks! I'm glad that you feel I portray Brooke correctly. Thanks again for your review!

**Cherrymfzb**: Thanks. Yeah, I decided it would be cool if Brooke liked Lucas while he was with Peyton, so we could see how she really felt for him.

**HalesnLukeBFF4ever**: It's a deal, Amber! If you review every chapter, I'll make more! Hehe..

**Starryskyangel**: Brooke and Jake would be adorable together, I do admit.

**KinGsFaN**: Hehe, don't be sure about Brooke and Lucas. This may turn out to be Leyton, and one-sided Brucas, but you never know..

* * *

**Secret Love**

**Chapter Five**

Jake called me maybe once after our date. I guess he knew I wasn't really into it.

Peyton and Lucas obviously got back together, because we all know them breaking up would never happen.

I guess they never really broke up, they just kind of took a break for like five minutes.

They probably had a fight about who was more broodier. The winner would be an unsolved mystery.

See, that's why Luke and Peyton made a horrible couple. They were like twins. They were exactly alike! They even looked alike! I swear, if Lucas was a female, people would probably mistake them for sisters!

Anyway, back to current time, we were currently at our basketball game, cheering at the top of our lungs.

"Go Nathan!"

"Go Lucas!"

"Go Ravens!"

You could hear our cheers from down the road. We were extremely pumped tonight. If the Ravens lost this game, they wouldn't make it to the playoffs, and we just couldn't let that happen.

Of course, Lucas had to trip. It was an accident, but still! And just guess who he fell on? Little ole' Brooke Davis, who had been fallen on way too many times to enjoy it.

Of course, since it was Lucas, I didn't really mind.

But he'd also hurt him slightly too, and since Peyton was forced to stay behind at the game, it was just me and Lover Boy.

I sat on the nurse's bed-thingy for patients, as she wrapped my foot up. Lucas sat beside me, watching me flinch as she tied it too tight or too lose.

"Damn Brooke, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was an accident," I paused, looking at him carefully, "Right?"

He chuckled. "I would never hurt you purposely."

I nodded. If only he knew how much he was hurting me.

"So, will you ever forgive me?"

I nodded.

"Hey Brooke, you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Luke, don't start.." I warned.

"I worry about you sometimes, Davis." What the hell? I didn't even know he thought about me.

"What for?"

"I don't know, I just do."

"Right. Lucas I know that you only tolerate me because I'm best friends with your girlfriend."

"That's not true."

"It is too."

"Brooke, when I first met you, under the strange circumstances, I still saw something amazing in you, because you told me something that I realized was true soon after."

"What'd I say?"

"That everything had changed. And I didn't want to admit it, but it had. It changed."

I nodded, shrugging. "Well, I'm smarter then people think."

"Much smarter." He agreed.

"I'm not failing any classes like everyone says I am." I told him honestly.

"I believe you."

"You should. Because I don't lie, like everyone else does."

"I believe that too."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

We were silent for a few moments, and he was okay to go. He was at the door, when he stopped, turning towards me.

"Brooke."

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"I know what it's like to be misunderstood."

Damn, he had me falling for him more and more, day by day. As he left, I fell back onto the bed-thingy.

"Kill me now."

"I most certainly won't!" The nurse looked appalled, and I lifted my head to look at her.

"Not you, Genius."


	6. Chapter Six

**Author's Note: **I deserve worse than having tomatoes thrown at me, let me tell you. If anyone's still reading, thanks. I hope you enjoy this one. I'll hopefully update again really, really soon. I doubt this story will be very long, but it's certainly fun to write.

**Secret Love**

**Chapter Six**

"Okay, Bevin, I'm sorry. But are you fucking retarded?"

The taller blonde gave me a shrug, shaking her head. "I just don't understand. Red and yellow is a really great combo."

"Yeah," I made a face. "If we're promoting Cheese-Fest 2006. Come on, Bev. Be reasonable."

We'd been working on the theme for the winter dance for nearly two hours now, and me, as social chair, had every right to tell her that her ideas, quite frankly, were crap.

"Well," Theresa piped up. I wanted her to shut up. She'd been quite a pest all day, and I really felt like slapping her straight across the face. "I think we should go with white and silver. Classic winter colors."

Uh-huh. And also the theme of last year's winter ball, dumbass.

I clenched my jaw. "Theresa-"

"How about blue and gold?" I knew his voice the second I heard it. Biting my lip, I turned to face the doorway of the gymnasium.

He stood with a confident smirk (which I don't he'd even known _how_ to do until he met Nathan), and with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

I tried to speak, but found that I couldn't. After our little encounter at the game a month before, we'd hardly spoken. And now, here he was.

"Um, er, I.."

"That's a really good idea, Lucas!" Bevin screeched, clapping her hands together.

I closed my mouth. "Yeah."

He shrugged. "Glad I could help. But um, I guess I'm here to stay with you guys."

I stifled a gasp, gulping. "Oh?"

"Yeah, uh, apparently the basketball team needs to get involved in more of its 'social activities', so they stuck me here. I hope I'm not crashing your party."

"No," I shook my head feverishly. "Not at all."

Lucas smiled, walking hesitantly into the room, and taking a seat beside me.

Like a fool in love, I smiled shyly. "So, I really like the gold and blue idea."

"Thanks." He grinned.

I checked my watch, sighing regretfully. "So, um, we've run out of time, but we'll meet the same time tomorrow. Everyone needs to brainstorm tonight. What should our theme be, and what events should we have? Please," I narrowed my eyes at Theresa. "Don't suggest ideas that we've had in the previous years. We're going for a new dance this year, people."

As my fellow students stood, I couldn't help but feel like a teacher, which was not good. A teacher was the _last_ thing I'd ever want to be. Give me hooker before that, even.

Lucas smiled at me as he stood. "Sorry for coming so late."

"It's fine." I could not have possibly been more pathetic. I knew this.

"So, uh, I'll walk you to your car?" Sounded oddly boyfriend-ish to me, but I knew not to get my hopes up. He was simply being nice. That's part of what attracted me to him so much; he was _so_ nice.

"Um, okay. Thanks."

As we walked, no awkward silence filled the air. This was most likely because he would not let it. He talked about his classes, asked about mine, told me about the latest book he was reading, etcetera, etcetera. I loved our conversation. It was not remotely romantic. It probably didn't even mean anything to him. But it meant everything to me.

"How are you and Peyton?" And then I had to ruin it.

"We're good," He smiled. "Really good."

Ugh. So much more than I needed to know. A simple, 'fine, thanks' would have been perfectly acceptable.

"Good. That's, that's really good. Wonderful." How obvious could it have been that I was hating the fact that they were dating? And by the way, since when were people this dense? Since when were people this ignorant? It's time to start picking up on signs, people.

"Yeah, it is. I never would have thought we'd have lasted this long."

Do I care? "Great."

"What?" He drew back.

"Huh?"

"Uh, I don't know." He laughed.

"She really loves you, you know. What you two have is like, ten times better than what she and Nathan had." Why I just dug myself a deeper grave, I have no idea. I guess I'm just a really good friend.

"I love her too." He grinned, happiness shining through his eyes.

"I was afraid you'd say that." I said it softly, and with his mind so pre-occupied in his own happiness, he did not hear me.

"So, what about you, Brooke? Who are you likin' these days?" He nudged me, and electricity surged through my body.

"No one." I shrugged.

"No one at all? If it's someone on the team, I could probably hook you up. You know, since they're not hazing the hell out of me anymore."

I laughed despite myself. "Thanks, I'm good."

"Good. Things are nice when you're happy, Davis."

"You too, Scott." I over-exaggerated his name, fully teasing him.

We reached my car (was it just me or had that been the _shortest_ walk of all time?), and he gave me a hug. He smelled like Axe and laundry detergent.

"Bye." I said weakly.

He smiled. "Bye."

I stared at him for a few moments before slowly turning towards my car. Tears filled my eyes as I got in, and I would not allow myself to look backwards as I drove away.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Author's Note: **I don't use the term emo, but something tells me Brooke would. And a couple of you have asked, but I have no idea how long this story will be. It's just Brooke's aimless life right now. Heh.

Secret Love

"We did pretty good."

I jumped when I heard him behind me. It was weird, but I could feel his presence there. I didn't turn around, staring straight forward at the masses of people dancing and just generally having a good time. He was right. Our little Winter Wonderland was definitely a success.

I nodded slowly. "I'd say so."

Finally turning to face him, I looked around. Peyton was nowhere in site. "Where's Peyton?"

He chuckled. "In case you hadn't noticed, this is a school function. Peyton wouldn't be caught dead at one of these things. Ever."

"Even if her boyfriend was hosting the event and needed a date? Damn." I laughed, but it was fake, and I was almost sure he could sense it.

"It's alright," He shrugged, nudging me. "I've got you."

Damn you, Lucas Scott. Damn you!

"Hah," I said with a fake smile. "Yeah."

We turned to face the crowds of people. Honestly, you'd probably expect this to be an awkward moment for us, but it wasn't. Over the past month, we had grown closer. The job of working on the dance had certainly helped our friendship.

Of course, I hated this.

"You don't want to," He paused, "dance, do you?"

No, no, no, no, no, no, "Sure."

Of course, _Lack of Color_ by Death Cab For Cutie, only my _all-time_ favorite slow song had to start playing _right_ then. He slid his hands around my waist, tugging me slightly closer, and I wrapped my hands around his neck. Could I help it that my body just _happened_ to scoot a little closer? Yes, but that's besides the point.

We swayed softly, and I mouthed the words softly to myself, careful to avoid eye contact.

He raised his eyebrows, smiling oddly at me. "You like Death Cab?"

I finally met his gaze, a bit of attitude swirling at my surface. "Yeah, so?"

"Whoa, lower your weapons," He said good-heartedly. "You just don't seem like the type."

"What? I seem like the 'Top 20' type?"

"Kind of, yeah." He said guiltily, and now he was the one averting his gaze.

I couldn't help but crack a smile. He was too cute for his own good. "I normally am, but they had a cool name and I had money, so I bought one of their CD's, and I've loved them since."

He laughed. "That's cute."

"_You_ don't seem like the Death Cab type. Really. You and Peyton listen to that 'Oh-feel-bad-for-me-I'm-emo' type music." I countered happily.

"Brooke, that isn't _all_ I listen to."

"I don't believe you." I teased him.

Lucas didn't seem to mind. He shook his head. "I like variety."

I laughed. "I believe you."

This was nice; us having a conversation. It was actually _helping_ me not think about the fact that I was in love with him, surprisingly.

And then I had to remind myself. Nice job, Brooke.

The song ended, and I reluctantly broke away from him. We stood beside each other once more, neither of us saying anything.

Suddenly, he said, "You look nice tonight, Brooke."

God, break my heart, why don't you?

I smiled. "And I don't usually?"

"No, you always look nice. I mean - no, I didn't mean.. I-" He broke off, laughing softly. "God, can't you just take the complement?"

"Well, I just like giving you a hard time. But thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Oh," I looked him up and down, as if I needed to analyze how good he looked. Of course, I didn't. "You look nice too."

He chuckled, loosely draping an arm around my shoulder. "Thank you, Buddy."

Buddy. Huh. Way to rip out my heart.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Author's Note: **God, I love writing this. So much fun. Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I think it's coming to an end soon, sadly.

**Secret Love**

**Chapter Nine**

I couldn't help but squint my eyes at her as she spoke. This was not Peyton Sawyer, my best friend, speaking to me. This was Annie Oakley, risen from the dead. Wait, was Annie Oakley dead? Whatever. Besides the point.

"A Camping trip?" I barely managed to sputter out. "Let me tell you. Of all your ideas, this is by _far_ the worst."

"Brooke, it's not just a _camping_ trip. We're going up to Nathan's dad's cabin. It's going to be awesome."

"Did you just say awesome?" Had she just said awesome?

She grinned. "Come on. You have to go."

"_Please_. To LoveFest2006? So I can be with you and Lucas, and Haley and Nathan?"

"Bevin will be there too. Plus," Her eyes bore into me, sealing the deal already, "I'm not going if you aren't."

Bitch. "Ugh, I can't believe you just said that."

"We haven't gone on a trip without each other since we were eight. You can't bail on me now." She said, and it was true. Since we were kids, we'd went with each other on every family vacation or weekend partying getaway.

"Fine, fine, fine. But you better not ditch me to be with Lucas all the time."

"I won't!" She _so_ was going to. I could see it already.

"Yeah, yeah."

Boy, would this be fun.

-

"Nathan," I growled, "your car is too small for my bags."

Nathan frowned, furrowing his eyebrows as he did. "Brooke, you packed like, your entire wardrobe. This wouldn't fit in an eighteen-wheeler."

Leave it to Nathan to be overdramatic. I had packed three suitcases. After all, we _were_ going for a week. Plus, it was winter! I didn't know what his dad's cabin was like in winter!

I tapped my heeled foot on the ground expectantly and he sighed, attempting to wedge the bag deeper into the back of his Suburban.

"Maybe you can take the cooler out."

"That's where the beer is, though," He was pouting. What a little baby.

"They don't sell beer where we're going?"

"Not to seventeen year olds,"

"Well, it's a good thing I've got my fake ID then, isn't it?"

"I don't wanna waste it."

"So drink it."

"But I'm driving."

"Technicalities…"

He laughed, and I realized how cute Nathan's smile was. Nathan was a cute guy in general. More my type than his lame-ass brother. Why couldn't I just like him?

"Nathan!" His Tutor Girl called and I rolled my eyes. Scott Boys were just not worth my troubles.

"Be right back. Maybe we can fit one of your bags in Lucas' truck."

"Maybe," I crooned, looking towards Lucas' truck, where he and Peyton sat talking. It took me just a moment to realize that they weren't talking; they were arguing. Interested, I watched quietly from behind Nathan's car, until Peyton stepped outside and began walking towards me.

"Hey," She smiled.

"Hi. Problem?"

She rolled her eyes. "I guess. Look, can you ride with Lucas? I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with him right now."

"Me?" It came out as a squeak, and I was lucky she didn't notice.

"Yeah. I know I've already asked you to do a million things for me and you didn't even want to come on the trip, but I just - you know, never mind, it's fine-"

"No, no, I'll do it."

She grinned, reaching over to hug me. "You're such a great friend."

"Mhm." God, I am the _worst _friend.

-

Lucas was brooding, of course. So this had rapidly become one of the worst rides of my life. You'd think I'd be in heaven; Lucas and Peyton were fighting and _I_ was here with him. But no.

I sighed loudly. He didn't even look over.

"Okay," I said finally, "are we going to be like this the _entire_ ride, or can we please at least listen to some music?"

He smiled softly. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"Clearly. Thinking is what you do. Or should I say brooding."

"I don't brood," He exhaled and I snorted with laughter, and then he did too. "Okay. Maybe a little."

"Fight with P. Sawyer?"

"Isn't that why you're here?"

"True."

"She just - she gets mad too easily. And when I just apologize, instead of getting mad back, she gets even _more_ mad. It's ridiculous. Nothing I do is ever right." Okay, this was _kinda_ awkward.

"It's kind of a girl thing," I smiled. "If you don't fight back it means you don't care."

"Even if I know I'm wrong?"

"Even if you know you're wrong."

"God, girls are confusing." He shook his head, letting out an amused laugh.

I nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it. I _am_ a girl and I'm _still_ confused half the time."

Turned out this would be a better ride than I thought.

-

I dropped my last - and heaviest - bag to the floor and then threw myself down onto the bed. "Oh God, I'm dead."

Bevin chuckled from her bed, and then looked at the wall to her left. We were right next to Haley and Nathan's room, with Lucas and Peyton across the hall.

"I wonder if Haley and Nathan do it." She said suddenly.

I stifled a laugh. "Yeah, I doubt it. Tutor Girl's saving herself."

"For what?"

"Duh. Marriage." Bevin was just _so_ dense.

"People do that?" Man, she was just a laugh riot.

I rolled to my side so I was facing her. "Yeah. And get this. Some people _actually_ only do it with one person in their life."

"Wow," Her eyes widened.

-

By dinner, Lucas and Peyton had made up. Not like I was surprised or anything because they always did. I was only slightly disappointed.

When Peyton went with Haley to help wash dishes after dinner, Lucas turned to me.

"Hey, thanks for talking to me earlier. You totally helped me out with Peyton and our fight."

"Oh, no problem." I smiled probably the fakest smile of my life right then.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Author's Note: **Erm, this chapter gets a _bit_ graphic towards the end. Don't know what got ahold of me. And I'm _pretty_ sure that the next chapter is the last.

**Secret Love**

**Chapter Nine**

When everyone opted to go out for dinner and dancing, I declined. I couldn't help myself. The _last_ thing I wanted to do was spend an evening with the dream couple, and not to mention Haley and Nathan had barely managed to peel themselves apart too.

"You _have_ to go," Peyton said, but she could not guilt-trip me into attending this, so after a while, she gave up, heading out to the club along with everyone else.

As I watched the car drive off, I easily slipped out of the clothes I'd been wearing, and into a little blue nightgown I'd always thought was really sexy. I combed my hair and washed off my makeup and tucked myself into my bed.

It felt as if I was there for hours, flipping through the television (nothing was on) and then just _trying_ to sleep, but always ending up fantasizing about Lucas and what life would be like if we were together. Finally, at about three in the morning, I heard the door opening and the sound of laughter.

"Great," I murmured. The last thing I needed was Bevin waltzing in here all drunk and annoying. I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought because just months ago - before this stupid _Lucas_ thing - _I _would have been the annoying, drunk one.

I could hear footsteps, loud and heavy - definitely Nathan's - and softer ones following behind him, which I assumed to be Tutor Girl's.

"I can't believe Bevin went home with that guy. What if he turns out to be a rapist or something?" Haley was saying as they passed my door, and I sighed happily. So I _wouldn't _have to deal with Bevin tonight. Despite feeling an odd sense of loneliness for being the only one without a roommate tonight, I couldn't help but feel a little bit overjoyed that I wouldn't have to be holding anyone's hair back.

"Oh, that's Jess. Him and Bevin meet up every time we come here to visit, and she _always_ goes home with him.." Nathan's voice was getting smaller and smaller, and I wondered where Lucas and Peyton were.

Unable to help myself, I pushed the covers away from myself, shivering suddenly as I realized that this room was cold and I was wearing nothing but a little nightgown. I swung my legs over the bed, tip-toeing towards the door of my bedroom. Once I was sure Nathan and Haley's voices had disappeared into their room, I crept outside.

I peered down the stairs, but could hear no voices, so I inched downwards slowly. Could Lucas and Peyton had opted to stay out later as well? No, it really didn't seem like them.

I saw the blonde head of hair the second I had reached the bottom. Him and Peyton were in the kitchen, insults being thrown back and forth. Both were _clearly_ wasted. Lucas was swaying as he spoke, and Peyton's eyes were red as could be - though that may have been from crying. I wasn't sure.

Either way, I managed to get back to my room safely and quietly, snuggling deep into the covers and hoping Peyton and Lucas wouldn't decide to come up here for some makeup sex.

When I heard the door slam, I jumped. Quickly hopping out of bed, I ran to the window, surprised to see Peyton wearing a coat and walking towards the lake. She did this sometimes. When she had to think, she would take a walk. Actually, now that I thought of it, _most _people did things like that when they had to think. Me however, I just kept it all bottled up.

I went slowly towards my bed, pressing myself into it for what I hoped would be the last time that night. I could hear Lucas' footsteps outside, shuffling up towards his room. And then - no, could it be? - it seemed they had stopped outside mine.

I pushed my head up, peering towards the door, where a dark shadow was clearly blocking the light from coming into the room. After a few moments, when I heard the lock being shifted and the door pushing open, I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep.

"Brooke, Brooke," Lucas was saying quietly, and before I knew it, he had climbed into bed beside me.

Was this some sort of sick joke the Gods' were playing on me for being a terrible person in my past life? Or this one, really. I'd been a terrible friend.

I could feel the warmth coming from Lucas' body, and his breath was coming out deep and heavy - I almost thought he was asleep - and smelled of beer. I'd always liked the smell of alcohol on someone's breath. I don't know why, but it was nice. To me, at least.

"Are you awake?" He said, and I knew then that he'd only been thinking, not sleeping.

"Mhm," I pretended to sound groggy, but really, I was wide awake.

"You're so pretty, Brooke," He said it, reaching a hand out to brush his fingers over my hair, over my face.

"Can I kiss you, Brooke?" He said. And then, he did what I feared he would the most. He leaned over, touching his lips to mine in a kiss. I did not kiss back. I did not move. My eyes stared, open and unblinking, and he pulled away.

"You can kiss back, you know." He said with a small laugh, and my heart melted. When he leaned in to kiss me again, I could not help it when I kissed back. I allowed his tongue access to my mouth, and he moaned slightly.

I was a terrible friend, I was a terrible friend, I was a terrible friend- his hand began to inch up my nightgown, which went to just mid-thigh, and my breath caught in my throat as his fingers went up past my legs, up my stomach, cupping one of my breasts gently.

I couldn't help it; the moan escaped my lips before I could stop it, and before I knew it, he had rolled on top of me.

"Peyton," I managed, and he shook his head, pulling his lips away only for a moment to whisper, "We broke up."

I'd felt so insecure the entire time I'd liked him, I had wanted him to like me back _so_ much, and now that I felt like he actually did, I craved him even more.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he tugged my nightgown off over my head. His fingers unhooked his own jeans, pulling them down just enough for me to cup my hands around him.

He was groaning softly and I was pumping my fingers and he was _so_ excited, and before I knew it, he was inside me and I was using his neck to stifle my moans. My hands scratched at his back, and my legs wrapped so tightly around his waist that I'd never felt so close to someone physically. He was thrusting fast and hard, and before I knew it, we were both trying to stop ourselves from shrieking in delight.

He was still on top of me, and I was curling my fingers around his jaw, feeling the stubble that had grown from a few days of not shaving. He was still drunk, but I could tell he had sobered up a bit. He kissed my nose.

"You should go," I said after a moment, but I did not want him to leave me. I wanted him inside me again. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew that I didn't want to be alone right now. I did not want him to return to Peyton, because although seconds before he'd told me they had broken up, I did not quite believe him anymore.

"Yeah," He said after a moment, and then stood, lazily pulling up his pants and handing me my nightgown.

I slid it on, and something inside me felt like we'd be lovers for forever. There would always be something there between us, wouldn't there be?

I watched him leave and remembered Peyton once more, and then I allowed myself to cry.


End file.
